I just found out that I will most likely need to have surgery on my ovaries to rid of a large fibroid. The part of me that feels the most saddened is my soul. It feels deeper than just a build up of tissue on my ovaries that needs to be removed. It feels as though my body has been used and objectified so much by the patriarchy - my sexuality exploited continuously - and that this build up has been my body trying to protect myself from this harm. As I am discovering my empathic abilities and strengths, I am allowing myself to lean into this deep over-encompassing sadness for all women who have experienced any sort of darkness from the patriarchy. I feel things about all aspects of a life as a woman who has had to fight to simply exist in this world as an equal.
I threw myself in the bath instantly, as this is where I feel the warmth from the water and comfort myself to release and heal....
As a part of me wants to judge how wildly exaggerated this may seem, the part that understands healing fully knows that I need to embrace all emotions that are present. It is important to acknowledge the truth that my body and soul believes to be true ... so I can release it. I want to release this anger fully, this exhaustion to defend who I am as a human... I want to release this so I can love all again fully, and tell my beautiful ovaries that we can heal fully. We are safe - I will always keep myself as safe as I can. This woman has a protective aura around her now - a BRIGHT-as-fuck white light that will penetrate the shit out of those who wish to come forth with ignorance or harm. I am aware now. And, I will shine louder because of this.
This healing will take time. This will take processing and a lot of hard work. I know I can stand FULLY in my power as I intend to heal this part of my existence. I want to move forward with all the glory given to me as a soul on this earth. I want to continue to inspire us all to live our lives as our best selves - and that includes healing ALL sides of ourselves... loving ALL sides of ourselves.. forgiving others and standing up for those who need it when it arises in our lives. I am here. I will always be here - even after I die - I will be fighting for you, I promise.
My ovaries and I <3