You shared a special bond with someone amazing. And you let it flop to pieces. Gave up. Chose the dark side. That’s on you cause this spirit lives on and loves on. I will be loved. You have a choice to let love in for yourself. I hope you choose to one day soon. You hurt me, harmed me - and I let you do it. But let you no longer - this love is mine. Love me or die out from me. I want to hold hope but the hope is dying. So you must also then die from my soul. Whether our souls re-meet is up to more than just me. It’s up to you, and more than anything it’s up to the universal guidance that breathes through us all. I love you. And I now let all of my love fall to me. I am mine to love and lift. And so I will. See you on the other side. Souls matching or not is out of my mind.
(for friendship, relationships, career, and even pieces of my self)
My purpose is life. My purpose is love. Whether loves comes through a child with a soul I love or through dance art and love it doesn’t matter. I am love. I am here. Existing for something more than just procreation - which is probably one of the most powerful things we can do as a human (create life and bring life into this world). I hope hope for my path, whatever that looks like. My soul is on fire. My soul is floating in the universal space of love and power. The universe is listening to us all. And I can feel the message get louder everyday. My purpose is here right now. And I am whole without you. I am whole with me. And I share who I am with the world which is more than enough. My purpose has been here all along existing through all the challenges and strife. My existence now loves in peace and I am bubbling with joy and excitement for this new existence. You choose your path. I’m choosing to listen to mine that was given to me by the stars in the sky. By the souls that watch over me. And by my decision for what I feel for myself.
I won’t give up on you. But I sure will let go and let me fly. Your life is up to you.
I made this messy dance vid - which completely disregards technique and was purely for me to release my rage I was feeling towards the man who fucked up my life. I took away the public setting because it is so raw and kind of all over the place - and I judge myself as a dancer... However, as I go through another sort of misogynistic experience, I am brought right back to this same level of rage.
I don't want to feel slapped in the face by societies depiction of what a man and woman are supposed to be. I'm just trying to live my as a fucking good human!!!
Personally, I am working on squishing through this discomfort with ease and grace. It doesn't always go well, I must say.... I have smashed a table recently (harming nobody but myself).
I had a session with a medium the other day for the first time, and it was very enlightening and so on-point that I bawled the entire time. Listen, I have a bunch of skeptics around me that infuse me with their doubts, but this woman had no insight into my name or information before - just my phone number - and either way she brought up names of people who have passed YEARS ago who sent very specific messages that nobody would ever know (except for me and my spirits).
Blanche is one of my spirit guides. She resembles the energy of Betty White. She loves me so. And she is my biggest supporter of this path I am on. She said that I am helping women all over the world, and am helping men by holding them accountable.
Sometimes I hold a rage that does not feel my own. And it is literally an out of body experience... I don't know if I am channelling past generational feelings from women, but I also know that other women friends of mine are feeling the same sort of rage lately - and it is described the same way - generational, ancestral, deep.
Again, my personal goal is to make change through love and art. I am going to come from a place of feeling centred and wise. This is a journey and a half. I have lost family, friends, jobs, locations, etc by pursuing this path - but truly it is one of the paths (along with choreography), that feels lifelong and is a part of my purpose here on earth. I know this. So I let the rest slide away with love and gratitude.
Anyways, this dance video is insight into how sometimes oppression and discrimination can feel - unorganized, all over the place and animalistic.
I sensei the shit out of life and WILL be at peace WITH all this.. But for now here is where we are.