I feel a bit like an old grandpa these days lol.
First of all I have to sit with my legs relaxed open (lol) to ensure I don’t bother my incision.
I sit by myself lots at coffee shops and chirp at my friends that all walk by or enter the coffee shop. My chirping isn’t rude tho haha, at least I don’t think, but I do love seeing everyone 🥰
I do kind of feel a tinge on the lonely side as I am less able to do all-the-things. I can walk (well, step forward in a sloth-like motion), and can get myself into a gaping seared position (as mentioned above), but it just feels slower and more careful.
I appreciate this pace. I love the respect I hold now for healing. I am so grateful to be in this position where people, science and my body have allowed me to clear such a big and meaningful part of my past. Honestly, wow. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
As a social creature who would love to simply be paid to go for coffee with friends, (ask and you shall receive 😉 TBD in a semi similar way), the perception of limitation is what I need to work through.
No joke peoples, I have BARELY been alone since my surgery. With my mom coming to help, all of my friends sharing their time in visits and in food supplies and love - I am FILLLLLED with love and I am SO grateful. I love the love that is here. Wow. So much. So yes, it’s funny in our human experience that even in abundance we can feel lack. I believe we have been “trained” to do this. Survival. And so! I am choosing to work on shifting my perspective into seriously everything that is here FOR me. Right now. Even while I sit alone in the sunshine typing this - I am lucky as fuck to be alive and be in this body where my soul chose to be.
I love this life as Rebecca Reinhart. It’s pretty neat. I shall continue to evolve into my souls desires and I also continue to use love as my superpower.
You are amazing as ever and I love you so much. Thank you for being exactly where you are in life. I hope you choose to open your heart always - especially when fear tells you to close off or guard.... you are safe. I love you.