I am stewing on something, from a conglomeration of multiple sources, that it is still seemingly forgotten that the instigators, the liars, the cheaters, the manipulators, the gas-lighters, aren't penalized as such... and that the ones who react from those instances are the ones to be noticed - and 'punished'.

I am using strong words, because I am on a roll in life where I am trying to recognize things for their realities. And using the proper language (even though it can be discouraged), can help us identify what needs to be nourished, honoured and cleared. We all have the ability to embody those above-listed qualities. It is sadly engrained and practiced so easily in our society - and, in fact, is oddly subconsciously promoted.

​ Anyways, just something to think of.. Let's just take responsibility for our own emotions and actions a bit more. And love thyself and others more. 

LOVE YOU

Feelings are facts. Feelings become dance moves. Dance is fact.

Leading a chat today on the Clubhouse app 'Emotions Are Your Superpower' ... excited!!

Love you,

PERCEPTION. Let me yell that first off (I'll get back here, I promise).

Life presents what we ask for .. and what we need. It doesn't always show up the way we 'ask for it' but usually it ends up being exactly what we asked for but in 'twisted' or interesting ways - trust it is all here for you. Life isn't always a peach people - lessens aren't always pretty - if they were, I don't think we'd learn anything lol (I know I would just be floating in bubbles in the sky if everything was pretty. I would have zero sense of what grounded energy feels like, or actually, what it means to exist as a human. Hahah these thoughts make me laugh. I love life. How I picture life as a human sometimes, is us suspended into nothingness... Sometimes I see expansion, and other times I feel like life throws you around like a fish flopping around getting hit from one place to the next.. It is all magic in the pathway of your life.

The unknown has the tendency to bring us into interesting places. I find for me, no matter how 'good' I feel at allowing the unknown to exist in me, I still gain this immense feeling of excitement (and fear) all at once. I am working on embracing the love of excitement and awe, as I personally wish to live in love and not fear... Hmmm wow, I get lost in my thoughts and feelings. It is so beautiful, and I hold space for this right now as I feel a shift in me. Our souls are always moving.

We always have a choice in what happens... and not necessarily in the events that occur or the people that flow in and out of our lives, but in our perceptions. We have choice in how we perceive an event. We have power in our existence of our existential selves on this earth. - and I am forever grateful for this choice. Okay, so if thoughts are real, and what we think, is... Then if we choose to perceive things as on our way/here for us, then we are shifting the path we walk upon in the mess.. and then mess becomes a part of you... It becomes you. It becomes your strength. This is how we transcend shit into greatness within. We love it. 

Mm k well, I am going to finish working on my documentary. I was working on it but received this download and again, I am working on following these intuitive pulls / moments. 

GOSH I LOVE YOU!!!! And I love life itself. How lucky we are to exist. 

​Love

Mmmm she is a beauty and a complex set of specialities our reproductive systems (and for men too - how cool are our bodies!??!). K honouring the body and am now going to dive into something...

I have been dealing with an extensive list of feminine issues for quite some time now (at least 4 years now) and even amongst countless doctor visits, I am at a point where something so big is in me that surgery is the only option (and this could have been prevented). I have a fibroid that is as big as a grapefruit and is too large to do a smaller surgery on. I am scheduled for a c-section to remove this thing that has been growing for years... I mean hey, I am super grateful for being in Canada right now. We are truly gifted with amazing health care. And HECK yes I am thankful I am here right now (it wasn't supposed to be this way - thanks covid? - I'm getting there more and more with real gratitude). AND...

There is a part of me that wants to talk about something that is bothering me, and I plan to release this with the intention of learning (not blaming)... Over the years, I have been asking doctors and demanding certain tests for myself because I knew something was off. I didn't know what was going on or how to move forward, or had any idea what may or may not have been going on, but I was trying. I just feel now, that getting to this point of extreme uncomfortable living, plus the threat of damaging my kidneys, bladder and intestines could have been avoided.. I wish I was held and listened to more when I was approaching doctors before. I wish I was taken seriously back then and not only when I had a bump protruding our of my body (as big as if I was 4 months pregnant)... I mean the medical system is set up to treat symptoms and not necessarily set up to discover the root cause. I was left to deal with changing my diet, taking certain meds, CONSTANTLY being prescribed birth control to "fix" all my problems.

Gosh, as many women friends are going through more reproductive issues, the system is literally set up to throw birth control at you as a solution to everything. And sure, this may work out just fine for some!!! AND be the solution to their problems - I am not denying this. But I knew birth control was not the solution. I want to know what my body is saying to me, and would birth control have helped? absolutely! BUT! I do see the purpose of pain, in that it is saying something is off. I want to know what emotional baggage I am holding in my body, I want to know if my eating habits are causing my body to work - I WANT TO FEEEL!!!!! I want to allow my body to speak up! AND.I want the doctors to hear us more when we say something feels off (right away)...

The system IS evolving. I can feel it. I am grateful for how it was before as well, and am super grateful for the shifts we are noticing.. So, I guess, as per usual I use my mind and my voice (through my fingers and my keyboard) to share a thought - and the hope is to simply keep our awareness open in what we are asking for and being offered. We have a say. I learn how to ask better questions and sometimes even demand certain things medically. I am taking responsibility as well for my end, and at the same time I do hope the medical system can lean into listening more and lessen the focus on drugs and money. 

Sooooo, soon I will be having a c-section and I am not even pregnant... Unsure if I want to have babies yet, I find this oddly ironic and a bit twisted lol. Thank you universe? (I am actually getting there.. I see my messages and learnings - and how the universe if fully holding me in SO many ways through all of this).

​Stepping in with as much grace and trust as possible.

To exist for thyself is to exist for others.

​I find I have to defend the idea that I am existing to be more in tune with myself, to heal myself more, and that in turn that is helping other people more. But let's think about this for a second... The more we love ourselves unconditionally, the more we practice this idea, then hence the more we can offer this practice to other people as well! 

It seems selfish sometimes to focus on thyself - to say 'fuck everyone else' and do what feels right for you. But again, once you hold space for yourself to exist as you are, and love all that you are in every moment, can you only understand how to offer that space for other people to be their beautiful selves. 

Yummy thoughts for this day. 

I was featured on a beautiful podcast this fine day - I will post it here once it is up <3  (HERE: Podcast

SO much love,

Bebbbbss Rebs REBOOKIE Love

I just found out that I will most likely need to have surgery on my ovaries to rid of a large fibroid. The part of me that feels the most saddened is my soul. It feels deeper than just a build up of tissue on my ovaries that needs to be removed. It feels as though my body has been used and objectified so much by the patriarchy - my sexuality exploited continuously - and that this build up has been my body trying to protect myself from this harm. As I am discovering my empathic abilities and strengths, I am allowing myself to lean into this deep over-encompassing sadness for all women who have experienced any sort of darkness from the patriarchy. I feel things about all aspects of a life as a woman who has had to fight to simply exist in this world as an equal.

I threw myself in the bath instantly, as this is where I feel the warmth from the water and comfort myself to release and heal.... 

As a part of me wants to judge how wildly exaggerated this may seem, the part that understands healing fully knows that I need to embrace all emotions that are present. It is important to acknowledge the truth that my body and soul believes to be true ... so I can release it.  I want to release this anger fully, this exhaustion to defend who I am as a human... I want to release this so I can love all again fully, and tell my beautiful ovaries that we can heal fully. We are safe - I will always keep myself as safe as I can. This woman has a protective aura around her now - a BRIGHT-as-fuck white light that will penetrate the shit out of those who wish to come forth with ignorance or harm. I am aware now. And, I will shine louder because of this. 

This healing will take time. This will take processing and a lot of hard work. I know I can stand FULLY in my power as I intend to heal this part of my existence. I want to move forward with all the glory given to me as a soul on this earth. I want to continue to inspire us all to live our lives as our best selves - and that includes healing ALL sides of ourselves... loving ALL sides of ourselves.. forgiving others and standing up for those who need it when it arises in our lives. I am here. I will always be here - even after I die - I will be fighting for you, I promise. 

With love, 

My ovaries and I <3

This is Jules (she/they). She is brilliant. Her voice could fill an entire opera stadium - it's beautiful. Jules is artistic and OR-GA-NIZED, which is why I have hired her as my personal assistant and marketing guru. We bonded immediately on the foundational values of loving all humans, and sharing our work to help inspire the world. 

Grateful as ever to have her on my team... Jules is going to rock your worlds. Find her on insta @jules.m.sherwood